A couple weeks ago I traveled to Tucson Arizona to attend a memorial service. The service was for my sister in law's brother. We knew each other as kids, and since we were the same age and had something in common (his sister married my brother) we had a sort of bond. We played with Hot Wheels together as kids, we did impressions of Johnny Carson, and when we were teenagers my brother would sneak us beers to drink with him. Pretty cool stuff. The last time I saw him was at my niece's wedding several years ago. By then we had not seen each other in many years, and really did not talk much. But, we had something more in common: we were both uncles to our sibling's daughters, who had grown to be lovely, remarkable women. (readers of this blog know of my weakness for my nieces) So even though we did not keep in contact, we had a bond that could not be broken. Two kids, from different parts of the country, different cultures, brought together through the love of family.
When I heard of his death, I made plans to attend his memorial service. I wanted to be there to express support for my sister in law, who has been a sister to me for most of my life. It was a beautiful service, with our nieces doing readings, some nice words by the priest, and mariachi music. Lots of music. It was his wish to have a song played, "play music when I die" and that wish was fulfilled. Yes it was a sad occasion, yet also there was happiness, as friends and family came together to celebrate a life that ended much too soon. For me, I was lucky to spend time with my brother, my sister-in-law, my sister, my sister in law's family, and of course our nieces and their daughters, a new generation of nieces to love and enjoy.
Welcome to the family, Esperanza.
I have been to many funerals, most for elderly relatives who lived long lives. I have only been to two funerals for contemporaries, people my own age. The first was my best friend, who died suddenly at age 46. I still, and probably always will grieve his passing. The second, for my friend Ray, who too died much too young. We shared a common generation, a brother and sister, and our nieces. Although I did not see him much, I will miss him, knowing he is gone and won't come back. Like my best friend, I will never forget him or let him go.
adios mi amigo.
